Rosenverse
Lessons from a Toxic Work Relationship

This video is only accessible to Gold members. Log in or register for a free Gold Trial Account to watch.

Log in Register

Most conference talks are accessible to Gold members, while community videos are generally available to all logged-in members.

Lessons from a Toxic Work Relationship

Gold
Monday, January 8, 2024 • Enterprise Experience 2020
Share the love for this talk
Lessons from a Toxic Work Relationship
Speakers: Darian Davis
Link:

Summary

It’s hard to collaborate with clients when some stakeholders continue to move the goalpost on deliverables, consistently contradict their own decisions, and ignore your advice as a consultant. This brand of toxic behavior can have adverse effects on your quality of work, cause strain on professional relationships, and ultimately result in a weaker product or service for your users. Senior Experience Designer Darian Davis will share what he’s learned navigating a previous toxic work relationship, and along the way, uncover the tools to help you navigate, alleviate, and improve toxic work relationships of your own.

Key Insights

  • •

    Preconceptions about difficult coworkers can bias your approach before you even meet them.

  • •

    Physical and emotional depletion can be signs of toxic workplace relationships.

  • •

    Observing behaviors and asking targeted questions can reveal underlying concerns that aren't initially communicated.

  • •

    Appealing to a stakeholder’s best interest—such as meeting their deadline pressures—can build trust and rapport.

  • •

    Creating a clear, visual roadmap with checkpoints helps align stakeholders and reduces anxiety over deadlines.

  • •

    Regularly reviewing and documenting decisions in meetings enforces accountability and limits scope creep.

  • •

    Holding stakeholders accountable does not require confrontation but consistent gentle reminders through records.

  • •

    Toxic behaviors often stem from external or internal pressures no one else knows about.

  • •

    Acknowledging and owning one’s toxic behaviors is the first step to improving team dynamics.

  • •

    Working with a trusted mentor or accountability partner helps in sustaining behavior change and improvement.

Notable Quotes

"When fellow co-workers label an individual as difficult, it's hard not to treat that individual as a problem."

"I felt on edge and physically depleted after our interactions."

"By observing Jeff's concerns and asking questions, I was able to show empathy and distract myself from getting defensive."

"If you’re generating buy-in, don’t forget what it will mean for your difficult stakeholders—they may have external pressures you don’t know about."

"Creating a roadmap built enough space to make meaningful design changes for developers to implement."

"Reviewing decisions out loud held everyone accountable and made it harder for Jeff to forget or change his mind."

"It takes at least one member of a team to choose to set healthy standards for collaboration."

"We’re all capable of creating and perpetuating toxic work relationships."

"A common toxic behavior is glory seeking, like presenting work as your own when it was a team effort."

"Taking responsibility for our behaviors starts with an apology and continues with regular feedback and action."

Ask the Rosenbot
Charlotte Vorbeck
Pipeline to Civic Design
2021 • Civic Design 2021
Gold
Alnie Figueroa
Teamwork: Strategies for Effective Collaboration with Other Program Management Teams
2022 • DesignOps Summit 2022
Gold
Jen Cardello
Learning Velocity—The Insights Speedometer
2021 • Advancing Research Community
Frances Yllana
Theme 2 Intro
2024 • DesignOps Summit 2024
Gold
Erin May
Distributed, Democratized, Decentralized: Finding a Research Model to Support Your Org
2022 • Advancing Research 2022
Gold
Brad Peters
Short Take #1: UX/Product Lessons from Your Industry Peers
2022 • Design in Product 2022
Gold
Tristin Oldani
Learning the Part I Used to Hand Off: How Building the Systems Made Me a Better Designer
2026 • Rosenfeld Community
David Conrad
The Feeling of Data
2023 • Enterprise Community
Feleesha Sterling
Building a Rapid Research Program
2023 • Enterprise Community
Steve Baty
Breaking Out of Ruts: Tips for Overcoming the Fear of Change
2016 • Enterprise UX 2016
Gold
Aditi Ruiz
Pulse Check: Empathy Mapping Your Product Manager, Pt. 2
2022 • Design in Product 2022
Gold
Rebecca Topps
Planning and conducting remote usability studies for accessibility
2020 • Advancing Research Community
Anne Mamaghani
How Your Organization's Generative Workshops Are Probably Going Wrong and How to Get Them Right
2023 • Advancing Research 2023
Gold
Josh Clark
Sentient Design: Crafting Intelligent Interfaces with AI
2026 • Rosenfeld Community
Kristin Skinner
Theme 2: Introduction and Provocation
2024 • DesignOps Summit 2020
Gold
Doug Powell
DesignOps and the Next Frontier: Leading Through Unpredictable Change
2025 • DesignOps Summit 2025
Gold

More Videos

Dr. Karl Jeffries

"Creativity fuels design, design fuels innovation."

Dr. Karl Jeffries

The Science of Creativity for DesignOps

January 8, 2024

Amy Marquez

"Find your senior executive ally who understands design and go talk to them first — it works."

Amy Marquez

INVEST: Discussion

June 15, 2018

Steve Portigal

"Breaking enterprise into small segments lets you apply research methods effectively at scale."

Steve Portigal Chris Chapo Kelly Goto Christian Rohrer

Discussion

May 13, 2015

Alicia Mooty

"Agency style staffing allows designers to bring learnings across multiple projects and grow through new challenges."

Alicia Mooty

Design Staffing Models

September 30, 2021

Ana Maria Montero Barrantes

"Research in science fiction helps make research real and creative all the time."

Ana Maria Montero Barrantes Aditi Dhar Michelle Kaplan Nate Osborne Matt Laurence

The Authentic UX Talent Show

January 8, 2024

Lada Gorlenko

"We never compromise on the business goals, but how we achieve them can be flexible and pragmatic."

Lada Gorlenko Sharbani Dhar Sébastien Malo Rob Mitzel Ivana Ng Michal Anne Rogondino

Theme 1: Discussion

January 8, 2024

Sofia Quintero

"Research isn’t linear; it’s messy and modular, so your tools have to reflect that fluidity."

Sofia Quintero

The Product Philosophy Behind EnjoyHQ

March 10, 2021

Laura Klein

"The incentive structure at a big company is set up to reward people for entirely different stuff than innovation requires."

Laura Klein

Unique challenges of innovation in enterprises

April 23, 2020

Andrew Michael

"Typically, data analytics teams are big and well-funded, while UX research teams are smaller and struggle for resources."

Andrew Michael

Building a Product Insights Team

March 10, 2022

Latest Books All books