Log in or create a free Rosenverse account to watch this video.
Log in Create free account100s of community videos are available to free members. Conference talks are generally available to Gold members.
Summary
Are you struggling to speak up to your boss due to fear of conflict? Our brains are wired to avoid confrontations, especially with authority figures, which can lead to misalignment, frustration, and missed opportunities. In this session, Joshua Graves, author of We Need To Talk: A Survival Guide for Tough Conversations, will help you reframe conflict as a strategic conversation rather than a risky confrontation. By understanding what you can control, influence, and how to communicate effectively, you'll gain practical tools to navigate these conversations with confidence. Through a mix of insights, real-world examples, and interactive exercises, you'll develop a clearer strategy for tackling tough conversations and reduce your fear of speaking up. Tune in to learn how to turn challenging discussions into opportunities for growth and influence.
Key Insights
-
•
The brain’s amygdala triggers fight-or-flight responses during difficult conversations, impairing rational dialogue.
-
•
Cultural differences significantly affect how employees relate to authority and approach conflict with bosses.
-
•
Distinguishing between what you can control and what you can influence is key to managing difficult conversations effectively.
-
•
Nonviolent communication provides a flexible framework to express difficult truths while maintaining psychological safety.
-
•
Depersonalizing conflict by focusing on facts and impacts reduces defensiveness and helps constructive dialogue.
-
•
Anger is a normal and useful human emotion that, when expressed clearly and calmly, can help convey the seriousness of an issue.
-
•
Knowing when to push forward and when to step back in conflict prevents burnout and wasted emotional energy.
-
•
Having shared goals and highlighting commonalities between conflicting parties aids mediation and reduces tension.
-
•
Short-term contract employment structures can erode team cohesion and holistic problem solving in organizations.
-
•
Slowing down conversations and asking logical 'what' and 'how' questions helps reduce emotional escalation during conflict.
Notable Quotes
"The amygdala acts as the brain’s smoke detector, smashing a button when it senses anything unsafe."
"Our brains are wired for efficiency and use heuristics, so they prefer daydreaming over hard conversations."
"If a security camera were recording, what would they see? Focus on facts, not stories."
"Depersonalizing the situation is a huge winner in nearly any hard conversation."
"Embracing seasonality in influence means adapting your expectations to current conditions."
"Anger doesn’t mean you have to yell—it’s about speaking clearly to the problem you see."
"You need to know your limits on how far you’re willing to exert influence and your energy investment."
"Slowing down speech and asking ‘what’ and ‘how’ questions engages the logical brain and de-escalates tension."
"Sometimes, avoiding the conversation feels easier but can have bigger costs than facing it."
"Establishing a shared vision with your boss or team helps align goals, even amid conflict."
Or choose a question:
More Videos
"Confidence is crucial — nobody wants to lose money or receive a product they can’t use, so unclear or unlabeled controls cause people with disabilities to give up faster."
Sam ProulxOnline Shopping: Designing an Accessible Experience
November 29, 2023
"Not all climate jobs have digital outputs, so don’t waste your time chasing digital roles in fields like green concrete."
Max Gadney Andrea Petrucci Joshua Stehr Hannah WickesAssessing UX jobs for impact in climate
August 14, 2024
"People crave real connection, but not forced fun or extra Zooms—so we embed play into existing meetings."
Shipra Kayan Tess DixonHow Tess Dixon Facilitates Team Engagement and Collaboration at Condé Nast Using Miro
October 1, 2021
"Sharing research should take more time than actually conducting it because socializing insights drives impact."
Bob Baxley Sara Asche Anderson Sharon Bautista Frank Duran Jamie Kaspszak Abbey Smalley Sylas SouzaTheme 4: Discussion
January 8, 2024
"Larry Fink said that to prosper over time, companies must deliver financial performance and show positive contribution to society."
Janaki KumarInnovate with Purpose
June 14, 2018
"I like to think of myself as a DJ at a party, amplifying the power of design so more people can dance to the future."
Lona MooreScaling Design Beyond Designers
June 11, 2021
"This work is totally within the wheelhouse of designers and product managers—it’s just thinking through systems with numbers."
Giff ConstableFinancial fluency for product leaders: AMA with Giff Constable
April 11, 2024
"What role do you want to play in helping save us and our beautiful planet from ourselves?"
Meghan Hellstern Joanne DongThe Next 100 Years of Civic Design: How Might We Better Rise to Meet the Challenges of Today and Tomorrow?
December 10, 2021
"You’re not doing IA, but you’re always doing it."
Sarah BarrettAI in Real Life: Using LLMs to Turbocharge Microsoft Learn
February 13, 2025
Latest Books All books
Dig deeper with the Rosenbot
How did the Lab balance flexibility for individual project documentation with the need for an integrated knowledge system?
Can the Rosen Bot create structured training programs or only answer questions?
How can personal connections improve collaboration between UX researchers and other team members?