Log in or create a free Rosenverse account to watch this video.
Log in Create free account100s of community videos are available to free members. Conference talks are generally available to Gold members.
We Need To Talk: Navigating Conversations with Your Boss (Part 1 of 3)
Summary
Are you struggling to speak up to your boss due to fear of conflict? Our brains are wired to avoid confrontations, especially with authority figures, which can lead to misalignment, frustration, and missed opportunities. In this session, Joshua Graves, author of We Need To Talk: A Survival Guide for Tough Conversations, will help you reframe conflict as a strategic conversation rather than a risky confrontation. By understanding what you can control, influence, and how to communicate effectively, you'll gain practical tools to navigate these conversations with confidence. Through a mix of insights, real-world examples, and interactive exercises, you'll develop a clearer strategy for tackling tough conversations and reduce your fear of speaking up. Tune in to learn how to turn challenging discussions into opportunities for growth and influence.
Key Insights
-
•
The brain’s amygdala triggers fight-or-flight responses during difficult conversations, impairing rational dialogue.
-
•
Cultural differences significantly affect how employees relate to authority and approach conflict with bosses.
-
•
Distinguishing between what you can control and what you can influence is key to managing difficult conversations effectively.
-
•
Nonviolent communication provides a flexible framework to express difficult truths while maintaining psychological safety.
-
•
Depersonalizing conflict by focusing on facts and impacts reduces defensiveness and helps constructive dialogue.
-
•
Anger is a normal and useful human emotion that, when expressed clearly and calmly, can help convey the seriousness of an issue.
-
•
Knowing when to push forward and when to step back in conflict prevents burnout and wasted emotional energy.
-
•
Having shared goals and highlighting commonalities between conflicting parties aids mediation and reduces tension.
-
•
Short-term contract employment structures can erode team cohesion and holistic problem solving in organizations.
-
•
Slowing down conversations and asking logical 'what' and 'how' questions helps reduce emotional escalation during conflict.
Notable Quotes
"The amygdala acts as the brain’s smoke detector, smashing a button when it senses anything unsafe."
"Our brains are wired for efficiency and use heuristics, so they prefer daydreaming over hard conversations."
"If a security camera were recording, what would they see? Focus on facts, not stories."
"Depersonalizing the situation is a huge winner in nearly any hard conversation."
"Embracing seasonality in influence means adapting your expectations to current conditions."
"Anger doesn’t mean you have to yell—it’s about speaking clearly to the problem you see."
"You need to know your limits on how far you’re willing to exert influence and your energy investment."
"Slowing down speech and asking ‘what’ and ‘how’ questions engages the logical brain and de-escalates tension."
"Sometimes, avoiding the conversation feels easier but can have bigger costs than facing it."
"Establishing a shared vision with your boss or team helps align goals, even amid conflict."
Or choose a question:
More Videos
"No matter what your contract says, once your data is in the cloud connected to an LLM, you have to accept the risk it could be exposed."
Kate Towsey Basel Fakhoury Oren Friedman Graham GardnerParticipant Recruitment and Management Tools
March 12, 2026
"Documentation is important for liability and useful for patient handoffs, so notes must be concise yet detailed."
Jennifer KongJourneying toward AI-assisted documentation in healthcare
June 5, 2024
"Thou art community, connection, and meaning – the product is not just code or design, it is a shared experience between humans and dogs."
Kevin M. HoffmanTheme 2: Enterprise Team Journey
June 3, 2019
"Find your senior executive ally who understands design and go talk to them first — it works."
Amy MarquezINVEST: Discussion
June 15, 2018
"Pair design is about two perspectives coming together as peers to quickly try and evaluate ideas."
Gretchen AndersonScaling the Human Center
June 8, 2017
"The pandemic and climate change have shown how tightly interwoven and global our challenges truly are."
April ReaganLook, Think, Act: The Futures-Smart Design Organization
October 1, 2021
"Engagement at hiring, onboarding, and growth stages prevents talent churn."
Dante GuintuHow to Crush the Talent Crunch
September 8, 2022
"Document your design decisions and architecture visually so new team members can quickly understand your system."
Jaime CreixemsBest Practices when Creating and Maintaining a Design System
June 7, 2023
"If you show something that looks ready to ship too early, you may miss exploring 30 other concepts quickly."
Billy CarlsonPrinciples of Team Wireframing
October 2, 2023
