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Summary
How to Work with Difficult People We all know difficult people. And whether by necessity of job or family, some of these people will continue to remain in our lives. And occasionally, we might find ourselves to be the difficult person. As designers and researchers, we know the value of listening to our users and empathizing with their needs. As creators, we know the value of curiosity. As communicators, we know the value of relationships. Join us to build on existing product skills to work better with difficult people. About Tutti Tutti Taygerly is a leadership coach who helps creatives & technologists embrace their unique leadership style to achieve professional impact. Tutti has 20+ years of experience as a designer across multiple industries, from big data to consumer video and from enterprise software to entertainment. She’s led design teams at startups, design agencies, and large tech companies, most recently at Facebook supporting Video products.
Key Insights
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Slowing down communication can ultimately speed up project progress by aligning shared goals with difficult people.
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Prioritizing people over ideas leads to better long-term relationships and healthier team dynamics.
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There is often a small percentage of truth in difficult people’s perspectives that can be leveraged constructively.
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Sharing personal stories and vulnerabilities helps build empathy and bridge gaps with difficult colleagues.
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Not everyone is your 'people'; finding those who align with your values and strengths is key to thriving.
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Being labeled 'difficult' can stem from holding high standards and demanding excellence in teams.
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High performers often feel frustrated by difficult people because of blocked efficiency, but collaboration requires patience.
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Vulnerability in leadership is often misunderstood but is crucial for authentic connection and growth.
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Emotional recovery from vulnerability or failure involves naming feelings, granting permission to experience them, and sharing with trusted peers.
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User research principles like curiosity and empathy can be effectively applied to navigating difficult interpersonal relationships.
Notable Quotes
"People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel."
"Multitasking is a myth. You can’t listen and do emails at the same time effectively."
"Slow down to speed up means focusing on long-term shared goals rather than immediate conflicts."
"People before ideas. The key to happiness and health is good relationships."
"Listen for the 10% truth in difficult people's words and build on that."
"Share your story vulnerably and in a neutral setting to open connection."
"Find your people — those with whom you have genuine chemistry and can be your authentic self."
"I was a very difficult person there. I was able to be head of design because I could sell my vision, but it was incredibly lonely."
"The label 'difficult' is your definition of it — it can mean high standards or a need to change behavior."
"Failure is easy but recovery is really hard. Naming your feelings and sharing them is key to resilience."
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