Cross-Functional Relationship Design
Summary
Key Insights
-
•
Harvard Business Review finds 75% of cross-functional teams are dysfunctional due to persistent silos.
-
•
Cross-functional relationships often fail due to competing priorities, differing communication styles, and lack of shared goals.
-
•
Relationships at work cycle through connection, disconnection, and repair, similar to a breathing process.
-
•
Connection happens when people feel seen, heard, and valued, which boosts collaboration and motivation.
-
•
Disconnection leads to treating people as obstacles or tools, increasing conflict and lowering productivity.
-
•
Repair attempts, including simple apologies or appreciation, prevent negativity from spiraling and restore connection.
-
•
Mapping your top five cross-functional relationships on the connection-disconnection-repair cycle reveals blind spots and opportunities.
-
•
The Enneagram personality system dramatically improves cross-functional understanding, trust, and communication.
-
•
Designing explicit relationship agreements (designed alliances) clarifies expectations and conflict management, improving teamwork.
-
•
Leadership must protect time for connection-building; otherwise, teams remain disconnected and inefficient.
Notable Quotes
"75% of cross-functional teams are dysfunctional because silos perpetuate themselves, even in cross-functional teams."
"Work gets done through our relationships, and that becomes more true the higher you go in your career."
"A relationship cycles through connection, disconnection, and repair, just like breathing has an inhale and an exhale."
"Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued."
"Disconnection is the breeding ground for conflict."
"When people feel disconnected, they start to objectify others as obstacles or vehicles to get work done."
"Repair is any action that prevents negativity from spiraling out of control and helps bring people back to connection."
"The quickest way I found to create connection is through the Enneagram personality assessment."
"Designed alliances make explicit the implicit ways our relationships work and how it feels to be engaged with them."
"You don’t have time not to build connections; the lack of connection is why everything is taking longer."
Or choose a question:
More Videos
"The hardest thing is knowing when to stop talking about something and start building it."
Abby Covert Tomer SharonPanel: Collaboration Tools
November 6, 2017
"If you are a glue person expecting to be indispensable, you are more dispensable than you think. But if you’re a catalyst moving information and translating to action, that’s more valuable now."
John CutlerThe Alignment Trap
November 29, 2023
"Focus on the destination, not the vehicle, because AI tools will change every single day."
Erika FlowersAI-Readiness: Preparing NASA for a Data-Driven, Agile Future
June 10, 2025
"When we’re not safe, our thinking brain — the neocortex — shuts down and operating IQ drops by half."
Alla WeinbergDesign Teams Need Psychological Safety: Here’s How to Create It
September 9, 2022
"Design system decision records prevent knowledge being stuck in one person’s head."
Dan DonaldDesign Systems as a Vehicle for Systemic Change
June 1, 2023
"The official conference time zone is Pacific Standard Time, but you can change it to your own time zone at designatskill.com."
Bria AlexanderOpening Remarks
June 9, 2021
"You cannot have one trauma-informed principle without the other; you need them all like ingredients in a salad."
Carol Scott Melissa EgglestonAvoid Harming Your Team and Users: Promoting Care and Brand Reputation with Trauma-Informed UX Practices
February 5, 2025
"Everyone may have different energy levels depending on the time of day, medication can also affect this."
Jessica NorrisADHD: A DesignOps Superpower
September 9, 2022
"Tops was more than a grocery store; it was a bank, a pharmacy, and a community meeting place."
Kyria Stephens Marlon KernerPower to Heal: Civic Design in the Aftermath of Tragedy
November 17, 2022
Latest Books All books
Dig deeper with the Rosenbot
How do product risk categories like feasibility, viability, desirability, and usability relate to research method choice?
Why might there be growing demand for AI-free or human-authentic creative services?
Why is it important for product teams to focus on questions rather than jumping straight to methods?