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Summary
Unmet expectations at work can significantly impact team morale and performance. However, addressing these issues without causing defensiveness or tension is a delicate challenge. In this session, Joshua Graves, author of We Need To Talk: A Survival Guide for Tough Conversations, helps shift the focus from blame to problem-solving, equipping you with practical strategies to uncover root causes, frame constructive conversations, and set clear expectations without damaging relationships. Through real-world examples and actionable takeaways, learn how to avoid common pitfalls and drive accountability while maintaining a productive working environment. Tune into this structured and insightful presentation that will help you navigate tough conversations with confidence and turn challenges into opportunities for team growth.
Key Insights
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Unmet expectations often stem from uncommunicated standards and assumptions.
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Self-awareness and understanding one’s motivations are crucial for navigating workplace expectations.
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The distinction between being nice and being kind can affect professional relationships.
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Concrete feedback should be tied to overall goals and principles, not just tasks.
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Psychological safety is essential for effective communication and conflict resolution.
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Using the 'situation, behavior, and impact' framework can help clarify feedback.
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Open-ended questions facilitate healthier discussions and reduce defensiveness.
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Patterns of behavior are more telling than isolated events when assessing performance.
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Documenting expectations can reduce ambiguity and improve accountability.
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Emotions play a significant role in communication and should not be stigmatized in the workplace.
Notable Quotes
"We spend all of our time up here in our heads, and we unintentionally hold other people to the same standards."
"If you start with inquiry rather than an accusation, you can really get to these root causes."
"When someone isn't meeting expectations, they’re not villains; they're just real people who are stuck in a cycle."
"It's important to note the subtle but core distinction between being nice and being kind."
"You need to learn how to speak the language of the people you’re working with."
"The best solutions come from good questions and good inquiries."
"You want to make sure that you are not running off wild at the mouth."
"The bigger the stakes, the more you need to be clear and concise with your communication."
"Writing things down forces you to articulate your goals more clearly than if you were just talking it out."
"Don't stigmatize these emotions; most of them are valid."
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