Summary
Any designer who has ever struggled to implement change in an organization has asked questions like those below: “How do we get product managers to value user research?” “How do we get executives to think in an Agile way?” “How do we get UX researchers to prioritize our work?” “How do we get our sales team to stop making promises we can’t deliver?” For product leader and author Matt LeMay, such questions are frustratingly familiar. He hears them from clients and colleagues, alike. Practitioners and leaders–in roles and on teams spanning UX, marketing, product, and more–unfailingly come to him seeking the answer to the question, “How do we get X to do what we want?”. Matt’s answer is always the same: “You don’t ‘get’ anyone to do anything.” “What’s more”, he’ll add, “you’re asking the wrong question”. Exactly what question should you be asking? All will be revealed when Matt joins us for the opening session of “Design in Product”. Building from the premise, “The path to success in cross-functional product development means embracing ego death and recognizing that you have very little direct control over anyone or anything,” Matt’s presentation will tap into the wealth of knowledge he has gained at such companies as Google, Audible, Mailchimp, and Spotify to illustrate concepts that are as practical as they are unexpected and profound. Stick around to join the conversation and ask Matt your questions during our post-session Q+A, moderated by Christian Crumlish.
Key Insights
-
•
You can't get anyone to do anything, so focus on understanding motivations and collaboration.
-
•
Reframing questions from 'how do I get someone to do this?' to 'how can I help them?' fosters a collaborative mindset.
-
•
Understanding the trade-offs can help executives prioritize better and achieve their goals.
-
•
Many executives may not know what their goals are; it's an opportunity for teams to guide them.
-
•
High-performing teams coalesce around shared goals rather than fixed role definitions.
-
•
Facilitation is a critical skill that is often undervalued but vital for team success.
-
•
Aligning around high-altitude, high-specificity goals leads to empowered decision-making.
-
•
Incremental delivery and Agile methodologies can benefit from clarifying what 'done' really means.
-
•
Team members should actively participate in research to build shared understanding and commitment.
-
•
Recognizing individual team member contributions can diffuse blame and create a culture of collaboration.
Notable Quotes
"When we attempt to exercise power or control over someone else, we cannot avoid giving that person the very same power or control over us."
"Asking how do I help is a much more valuable question than how do I get someone to do something."
"The call is coming from inside the house; we are choosing to give away our power."
"Helping others understand their trade-offs will improve outcomes for all involved."
"A lot of the time, the challenge isn't role clarity at all. It's goal clarity."
"You must navigate the trade-offs well to articulate the goals you're trying to achieve as a team."
"Facilitation is one of the most undervalued skills in modern product teams."
"These needn't be big steps. Little conversations can lead to impactful teamwork."
"The real power is in asking what can I do to make sense of this situation together?"
"There exists no perfect product company; we must focus on doing meaningful work within real-world constraints."
















More Videos

"What do you want your AI to do? What do you want their background to be?"
Noz UrbinaRapid AI-powered UX (RAUX): A framework for empowering human designers
May 1, 2025

"We can improvise the rest on top of that."
Jim KalbachJazz Improvisation as a Model for Team Collaboration
June 4, 2019

"Talking to the people that I work with about the experience of doing their job in order to improve their job experience is probably the most overlooked skill set that we have."
Holly ColeUnderstanding Experiences: When you have to do more than work
November 8, 2018

"When we utilize merge we can fully solve this problem."
Jack BeharHow to Build Prototypes that Behave like an End-Product
December 6, 2022

"It is very important for us to keep the vibes positive and make sure you feel good about being here."
Bria AlexanderOpening Remarks
October 3, 2023

"Organizations must build a culture of safe experimentation and reward curiosity."
Erika FlowersAI-Readiness: Preparing NASA for a Data-Driven, Agile Future
June 10, 2025

"Personalization is not just a trend; it’s a necessity."
Kristin SkinnerFive Years of DesignOps
September 29, 2021

"Big ears mean listening to other people more than you're listening to yourself."
Jim KalbachJazz Improvisation as a Model for Team Collaboration
November 6, 2017

"The future solutions will come from harnessing creativity at scale."
Surya VankaUnleashing Swarm Creativity to Solve Enterprise Challenges
June 10, 2021