Summary
Any designer who has ever struggled to implement change in an organization has asked questions like those below: “How do we get product managers to value user research?” “How do we get executives to think in an Agile way?” “How do we get UX researchers to prioritize our work?” “How do we get our sales team to stop making promises we can’t deliver?” For product leader and author Matt LeMay, such questions are frustratingly familiar. He hears them from clients and colleagues, alike. Practitioners and leaders–in roles and on teams spanning UX, marketing, product, and more–unfailingly come to him seeking the answer to the question, “How do we get X to do what we want?”. Matt’s answer is always the same: “You don’t ‘get’ anyone to do anything.” “What’s more”, he’ll add, “you’re asking the wrong question”. Exactly what question should you be asking? All will be revealed when Matt joins us for the opening session of “Design in Product”. Building from the premise, “The path to success in cross-functional product development means embracing ego death and recognizing that you have very little direct control over anyone or anything,” Matt’s presentation will tap into the wealth of knowledge he has gained at such companies as Google, Audible, Mailchimp, and Spotify to illustrate concepts that are as practical as they are unexpected and profound. Stick around to join the conversation and ask Matt your questions during our post-session Q+A, moderated by Christian Crumlish.
Key Insights
-
•
Attempting to control others ironically grants them control over you, as Alan Watts explains.
-
•
Reframing 'how do I get someone to do something?' into 'how can I help them?' promotes collaboration over control.
-
•
Lack of clarity about high-level, specific shared goals is the root cause of many cross-functional tensions.
-
•
High-altitude, high-specificity goals create a compelling North Star that teams can rally around and align to.
-
•
Role clarity matters less when goal clarity is present; teams self-organize effectively with clear goals.
-
•
Facilitation is a critically undervalued skill, often marginalized due to gendered perceptions, but essential for empowered decision-making.
-
•
Inviting others, such as product managers or executives, into research and discovery sessions increases shared understanding and buy-in.
-
•
Proactively engaging with difficult collaborators by understanding their goals helps reclaim your own power and influence.
-
•
The term MVP often leads to misunderstandings; focusing on the purpose and goals behind deliverables is more productive.
-
•
Product community is shifting away from the myth of a perfect process; pragmatic adaptation within real constraints is key.
Notable Quotes
"You don’t get anyone to do anything."
"When we say if only I could get that executive to think differently, we’re actually giving them power over us."
"Acknowledging that you can’t get other people to do things is truly the path to freedom."
"Helping takes us out of a control-oriented mindset and puts us in a collaborative one."
"High-performing cross-functional teams self-organize around shared goals even with ambiguous roles."
"Facilitation is probably the most undervalued skill on modern product teams."
"We need to reclaim the value and importance of facilitation as strategically critical work."
"Research is a team sport; teams take it more seriously when they do it together."
"If only thinking is living in an ego-driven fantasy and giving someone more power than they have."
"There is no one right way to do things; this is deeply contextual work."
Or choose a question:
More Videos
"When the whole team is trained in design thinking, they are measurably more aligned, more efficient, and more agile."
Doug PowellClosing Keynote: Design at Scale
November 8, 2018
"A growth mindset in research means being ready to adapt protocols based on what actually works with participants."
Mila Kuznetsova Lucy DentonHow Lessons Learned from Our Youngest Users Can Help Us Evolve our Practices
March 9, 2022
"Every parent we talked to had some variation of the question: this exists, can I use it right now? Where was this when I needed to apply?"
Sarah GallimoreInspire Progress with Artifacts from the Future
November 18, 2022
"Field usability testing showed stakeholders immediately how much value UX can add by catching issues before deployment."
Lada Gorlenko Sharbani Dhar Sébastien Malo Rob Mitzel Ivana Ng Michal Anne RogondinoTheme 1: Discussion
January 8, 2024
"Our goal is to be AI fluent, not necessarily AI experts."
Alnie FigueroaThe Future of Design Operations: Transforming Our Craft
September 10, 2025
"Meaningfulness is linked directly to what your organization cares about in terms of goals and priorities."
Landon BarnesAre My Research Findings Actually Meaningful?
March 10, 2022
"I thrive on learning about how people overcome obstacles."
Emily EagleCan't Rewind: Radio and Retail
June 3, 2019
"Managing resistance is mental; customers might resist because they've learned workarounds with legacy systems."
Malini RaoLessons Learned from a 4-year Product Re-platforming Journey
June 9, 2021
"Product managers mean business — they have their hands in multiple pots long before designers join the team."
Asia HoePartnering with Product: A Journey from Junior to Senior Design
November 29, 2023
